A Life Update

It's a good thing no one comes here to keep track of me. 

I say all the time that I'm going to keep this updated, and I've got plans for doing that, but life is relentless. (That, and I have multiple hyperfixations right now.)

So, what's new?

I'm not even sure where to start.

My last real life update (other than sharing our covid experience) was back in January, when the kids went back to in-person school. Yikes. SO much has happened. Leeet's get into it.

The Best Trip to the Most Magical Place

In February, we went on what was supposed to be our, "hurray, covid is over!" celebration vacation. Our assumptions, as most are regarding covid, were wrong, but we lucked out. The first surge of omicron was down to almost nothing at the time of our travel, we were all vaxxed up, and we were still able to go. It was a big, 12-day, multi location trip with 8 nights and 5 park days in Disney World. We had the *best* time. Maybe I'll go into more detail one day - if I ever feel like doing that much work and letting my Disney side have a piece of my blog. For now I'll just leave it at: I miss it, we made some serious core memories that week, and I wish I had DVC kinda money.

The Viruses Won't Leave Us Alone

I'm sniffling as I write this, because I'm wrapping up another cold-allergy-something. To be fair, this is only my second one since I had covid in early March. However, since that day, someone in my household has had something. We might have had one week off in there somewhere? But yes, March and April were germ city and May hasn't been much better. We all know about covid, but wtf is the rest of this? Why is EVERYTHING aggressive right now? SO over it.

The Inevitable Found Us Again

That's what I'd called it when we got covid. But there was another inevitability that we could see coming for our family for a while, and it finally arrived in April. Odin, my 18 year old, white-fluffed best friend passed away. He'd been sick for a while, and rapidly fell apart in his final week. We did get to celebrate his 18th birthday together, and we covered him in love to the best of our ability. But oof, this was hard. Rocked my world. Odin was a fixture throughout my entire adult life, and to lose him was to close a circle of my identity. He comes to me in dreams sometimes, now. He's usually just perched somewhere, often in a box (lol, typical), watching me. I'd like to think that in my dream state, I'm able to witness how he's looking out for me now - guardian style.

As Is Typical, I Can Never Pick Just One

I'm writing three books. Actually, five. Low-key more than that. But let's go with three, because I am giving constant, daily attention to three of them. I never used to say these things out loud because I've always had some writing project or another that I felt abandonment coming for (uhh I have like thirty 50-page drafts just hanging around...whoopise). But I am mad-scientist style writing on a daily basis. Like to the point where my entire life crumbles around me and I forget to defrost anything for dinner and time warps into this unknowable thing. I write for a while before my kids get up, and then I write the second I get back from drop offs and I'm shocked when pickup time arrives seemingly five minutes later. I've mentioned my dental fear book before (if you've never taken my survey for that it's in the margin, I'd love it if you'd check it out!), but I also have a novel that I'm only a couple weeks from sending off to my first beta reader. Don't even know how that happened, but here we are. And then I have an old book I've rescued from the pit of unfinished drafts that I'm polishing up to begin a collaboration on. 

It's wild. I wasn't sure I'd actually get here. I've never had such clarity - such a plan of attack. Such dedication. It's thrilling.

I'm Building a Whole Ass Library

This one's kinda fun. One morning, I was sitting on the love seat in my living room, sipping my coffee and staring out the window. Matt and I'd just had a conversation about the real estate market and how we maybe need to chill for a while (and put our long moving aspirations on hold), and I was wistfully saying goodbye to my dreams of an in-home library when it dawned on me. I can still have one. We'd refinished a room recently to create a home office for Matt, and it freed up his old work corner for whatever we wanted it to be. In a split second, I was on my feet declaring that it was going to be my library, come hell or high water. I immediately got to work. Like, a couple sips later. In the spare moments when I'm not writing, I've been sorting, purging, shredding, moving boxes, vacuuming, disinfecting-wiping everything in my basement. It's a long process, but it's getting there. I can't wait to share it. (This has also taken my book shopping habit from, "Oh no, I'm running out of nooks to shove these into!" to "Mama's got bookshelves to fill!") Photo is from my public library - my actual library will be way more vibey.

 

Even Therapists Can Gaslight You

I'm starting a new treatment with a new therapist this week. Tomorrow, actually. I'd been cruising along in therapy, paying a stupid amount of money to vent about my anxieties while being given no actionable solutions and having none of my problems solved (or even progressed). When I spoke up about it, it got messy. I ended up speaking with the owner of the clinic, and found out that my therapist was telling us two different things on a regular basis. It was kind of a slap in the face - to find out that my therapist was the kind of flawed that she'd lie to keep her job, even if it was to the detriment of her patient. So the lesson is this: therapists are people, too. And they often come to their jobs with their own mental, emotional, and developmental deficiencies. We're all human at the end of the day, but we should all stop trying to show up to things that we don't actually have space for. When we do that, we give others the impression that they can count on us when they really can't. Not fair. 

My Fish Kid is on a Swim Team

While all of my kids love swimming, I have one that would willingly prune his entire body on a daily basis if he could. When we went to Disney, he liked the pools better than any attraction. When he's in the water, he looks like he belongs there. Which is weird, because I'm the opposite - I freaking hate water. I don't know where he gets it. We've chatted and researched and we found a summer program for him to give competitive swimming a shot. I am...not the most thrilled about the daily early morning wake ups, and neither is he, but I'm confident this will be worth it. When you ask him what he wants to be when he grows up, he says Michael Phelps. So, we'll find out soon if he's got the chops. (Or, the fins.)

 

It's Been 84 Years 

Just kidding, it's only been twenty. But that makes me feel impossibly old. To be able to say I did anything twenty years ago speaks to some damn life experience. To say that's when I finished high school is just straight bonkers. There's some sort of sloppy rag-tag reunion planning going down because our class government is MIA, and I have no plans to participate. But a small group of friends that I've managed to hang onto for these past couple decades are chatting about doing our own little thing. That feels exciting. I just can't even believe it's been that long. Life comes at you fast.

Sooo that's about it. 

Nothing wild, but that's what's filling my time. I'm also starting to make some summer plans despite the fact that our schools will still be in session for an impossibly long time. (If your kids go to one of those schools that's wrapping up this week, please don't tell me, I can't handle it. We have weeeeks to go.)

So far we've got a camping trip on the books, a mini 20 year reunion, and a return of the Camp Readaway read-a-thon I birthed last summer. (Plus, all those daily early morning trips to the pool for my swimmy kid. Currently accepting Tim Hortons and Starbucks gift cards.)

Hope you enjoyed this sign of life. Maybe I'll make it back here again soon.